How to teach kids to share?
In a Montessori classroom, everything is shared — but not all at once.
Children learn that when someone is using a material, it’s their work until they are finished.
Once it’s back on the shelf, it’s free for anyone to use.
This simple rhythm teaches respect, patience, and empathy.
Our role as adults is to hold that boundary — kindly, but firmly — whether our child is waiting or being waited for, at home, in school, or on the playground.
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Preventing conflict gently
When two young children want the same thing, we don’t force them to “share.” Instead, we guide them to understand the idea of waiting and respecting another’s work.
For example:
“Ella is building with the blocks right now. Would you like to look at books while you wait?”
“Liam, it looks like Ella is still using the paint set. It’ll be ready soon.”
“Ella, are you saying you’re still working with that? Okay, Liam will wait for his turn.”
“Let’s go feed the fish while we wait for the easel to open up.”
“Ella, may Liam watch you paint for a bit?”
Children learn that waiting doesn’t mean losing. It’s just another way to practice patience — and patience is a form of kindness.
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When big feelings show up
Sometimes waiting or conflict brings tears or frustration. That’s normal. When a child cries or yells, we don’t rush to “fix” it — we give space, stay calm, and let them express their emotions safely.
“I see you’re upset, Noah. You really wanted that truck.”
We hold them, breathe together, and wait until they’re calm again. Then we make things right — returning the toy, saying sorry, or simply reconnecting with a smile. Peace isn’t taught through words — it’s modeled through moments like these.
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Responding to conflict with calm authority
Here are ways to protect both children’s dignity and the shared environment:
“I can’t let you take Ava’s work, but I can help you find something else to do.”
“You really want the puzzle, don’t you? It’ll be ready when Ava’s done.”
“Ava, I see Ethan took your ball. I’ll give it back to you.”
“I can’t allow hitting, but I understand you’re angry.”
“When I’m not sure who started it: ‘I can’t let you fight over this. I’ll put it away for now, and you can try again later.’”
Every time we stay calm, we show children that problems can be solved without hurting or shouting.
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Sharing between siblings at home
The same Montessori idea works beautifully in family life.
If one child is using something, it’s temporarily theirs. When they’re finished, it’s available for the other. You don’t need duplicates of everything — just clear boundaries and gentle consistency. It also helps to prepare small, personal spaces: maybe Olivia has a reading corner, and Max has a basket of toy cars. They can explore each other’s spaces when things are available, but also learn to notice when their sibling needs quiet time. You might say:
“Olivia, it looks like Max wants to work alone right now.”
“Max is still playing with that puzzle. Let’s come back later.”
“Max, are you saying you’d like to finish this by yourself?”
This language teaches children how to respect others’ focus and feelings — the heart of peaceful living together.
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At Tiny Neighbors, we follow these same principles every day.
Children learn that sharing isn’t about giving up what you love — it’s about trusting that your turn will come.
When we guide them gently and consistently, we raise children who respect themselves and others — and who carry peace wherever they go. 💛
Thank you for reading,
Natalia
Mom & Montessori Teacher
